It’s not an easy question to answer. We wrote a whole book describing him as the usurping King Claudius in Hamlet, after all. And after 9/11, plenty of Shakespeare buffs, including many who didn’t like President G.W. Bush, agreed that he was a modern incarnation of Henry V, who started out as a carousing wastrel, but who rose to become a successful military leader. The resemblance even included a shared enthusiasm for foreign invasion, although Henry V was quickly successful in France, while GW got us into Afghanistan where, now 20 years later, we still remain.

But Biden is not so easy to cast. My first thought was Malvolio, the steward of the Countess Olivia in Twelfth Night. Malvolio thinks he is entitled to a higher status (he believes his boss, the DNC, I mean Lady Olivia, loves him and wants him to become her husband and lord). In fact, a trick is being played on him by the DNC, which manipulated the primaries, starting in South Carolina, to ensure his nomination. Here’s Biden fantasizing about occupying the White House; I mean Malvolio fantasizing about being married to Lady Olivia:

Malvolio: “Having been three months married to her,
sitting in my state,—… Calling my officers about me,
in my branched velvet gown; having come from a day-bed,
where I have left Olivia sleeping,—… And then to have the
humour of state; and after a demure travel of regard, telling
them I know my place as I would they should do theirs…”

In the end, though, we can’t impose on Malvolio the burden of being Biden. Despite his flaws, Malvolio is a competent and loyal servant. Looking elsewhere, I recalled that the very same play featured Sir Andrew Aguecheek, who has the virtue of being a buffoon, which brings us halfway home. He is also being fooled by Sir Toby, who is bilking him of his money by persuading him, similarly, that Olivia might be susceptible to his charms. And like Biden, Aguecheek has a great deal of trouble with the English language:

Sir Andrew: “Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand?”

Maria: “Sir, I have not you by the hand.”

Sir Andrew: “Marry, but you shall have; and here’s my hand.”

Here are a bit more of the deliciously obtuse President’s, I mean Aguecheek’s, malapropisms:

Sir Andrew: “Methinks sometimes I have no more wit
than a Christian or an ordinary man has: but I am a
great eater of beef and I believe that does harm to my wit.”

Sir Toby Belch: “No question.”

Sir Andrew: “I’ll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby.”

Sir Toby Belch: “Pourquoi, my dear knight?”

Sir Andrew: “What is ‘Pourquoi’? do or not do?”

But Aguecheek has a pure heart, so in the end he too cannot be Joe Biden. So if our new and very old hair sniffer in chief is neither Malvolio nor Aguecheek, who in Shakespeare is he?

Biden is Dogberry.

Dogberry is a dimwitted functionary – in his case a constable – who plays a very subsidiary role in Much Ado About Nothing. Joe Biden is a dimwitted functionary who should have played a subsidiary role in American life. Also, neither one of them can navigate the English language:

Dogberry “Is our whole dissembly appeared?”…

Sexton: “Which be the malefactors?”

Dogberry: “Marry, that am I and my partner.”

Dogberry and Biden share a gift for giving public confessions to crimes and still not being held to account. In Dogberry’s defense, he merely misspoke, and was not actually guilty. But Dogberry’s most famous rant channels Biden in a way that is truly uncanny:

Dogberry: “Dost thou not suspect my place? dost thou not
suspect my years? O that he were here to write me
down an ass! But, masters, remember that I am an
ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not
that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of
piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness.
I am a wise fellow, and, which is more, an officer,
and, which is more, a householder, and, which is
more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in
Messina, and one that knows the law, go to; and a
rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath
had losses, and one that hath two gowns and every
thing handsome about him. Bring him away. O that
I had been writ down an ass!”

What more can we say? We have our Biden, but considering his mental state, we may not keep him for long. Before we know it, we may be asking, what Shakespeare character is President Kamala Harris? Well, that one’s easy – she’s Mistress Overdone, the bawdy house madam from Measure for Measure. I look forward to writing about that when the time comes.

I write this blog because, especially in a time like this, we should turn to the classics, Shakespeare chief among them, to keep us connected to the highest and best in Western culture, even as we navigate a dark time, and gather strength for the road ahead.

 

P.S. I wanted to let you all know that my recasting of Hamlet as the 2020 election is now up for sale as an e-book and paperback through this link.

‘Hamlet’s 2020 Vision; A recasting of Hamlet as the tragedy of the 2020 election,’ reimagines Hamlet as the 2020 election by substituting the main players on our national stage for the play’s original cast of characters. I think the result is highly entertaining, but it also provides surprising insights into our current predicament, and it gives readers a chance to enjoy Shakespeare’s great tragedy from an entirely new angle.